Citruz

HI FRIENDS,IAM CITRUZ(26) FROM CHENNAI-INDIA...HERE U CAN READ ALL MY "intelligent" SCRIBBLINGS.

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Location: Chennai, TamilNadu, India

I am a dreamer.I dissolve & lose myself in to my lucid dreams.I wanna get more obsessed with them and I am working upon it.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

NO OTHER WAY -LAUGH !!

Hi, friends these are the gags about sardarjis I collected from net .These are the best jokes I had ever read. I think u will also love it hence I am redistributing it here in my blog, have a nice time and I bet you will laugh while reading these,check out...

1. One day a sardarji was sitting in his office on The thirteenth floor building when a man came running in to his office and shouted "Santa Singh your daughter
Preeto just died in an accident"

Sardarji was in panic. Not knowing what to do, he jumped from his office window.
While coming down when he was near the tenth floor he remembered he did not have a daughter named Preeto.

When he was near the fifth floor, he remembered he was not married.

When he was about to hit the ground he remembered he was not Santa Singh.


2.A sardar walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I bor-rowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story. whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"

The librarian replied, "Oh, you must be the person who
Took our phone book."

3. A sardar was walking along, when he looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird dropped a load when it was directly over him.

The Sardar smiles happily says, "Good thing that cows don't fly."

4. A sardar is in a bar and his cellular phone rings, so he picks it up and says "

Hello, how did you know I was here?"

5. How many sardars does it take to pull off a kidnapping?

Six. One to kidnap the victim and five to write the ransom note.

6. Why are sardar secret agents the best in the world?

Because even under torture they can't remember what
they have been assigned to.

7. Why are sardar secret agents the best in the world?

Because even under torture they can't remember what they have been assigned to.

8. Did you hear about the sardar who asked his friends to give him all their burnt out light bulbs?

He just bought a camera and wanted to set up a Darkroom.

9. Banta Singh was painting his living room one hot
day. "Why", his friend Santa Singh asked him, "are you
wearing two jackets?.Because," said Banta Singh,The
directions on the can said to put on two coats. "

10. A sardar was given the job of painting the white
lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day
he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the
following day less than a mile. then the foreman asked
the
sardar why he kept painting less each day, he replied
"I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting
farther away from the paint can. "

11. A sardar was given the job of painting the white
lines down the middle of a highway. On his first day
he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the
following day less than a mile. then the foreman asked
the
sardar why he kept painting less each day,he replied
"I just can't do any better. Each day I keep getting
farther away from the paint can. "

12. A sardar's response to the comment, "THINK about
it!": "I don't have to think-I 'm sardar! "

13. Sardarji ( to doctor ) : 'Doctor, I have a
problem.'
Doctor : 'What's your problem?'
Sardarji : 'I keep forgetting things.'
Doctor : 'Since when do you have this problem?'
Sardarji : 'What problem?'

14. Why couldn't the sardar write the number "eleven"?
He didn't know which "one" (1) came first...

15. Why does a sardar only change his baby's diapers
once a month?
Because it says right on the box "good for up to 20
pounds."

16. One Sardar was enjoying Sun on a Beach in UK. A
lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing" Sardar
answered '" No I am Banta Singh" Another Guy came and
asked the same Question. Sardar answered "No No Me
Banta Singh." Third one came and asked the same
question Sardar was totally annoyed and decided to
shift his place. While walking he saw another Sardar
enjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you
Relaxing?" The other Sardar was much educated and
answered "Yes I am relaxing. The Sardar slapped him on
his face and said "Idiot, Sab tere Ko wahahn dhoond
rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai."
(Translation ... Idiot everyone is looking for you and
you are relaxing here!!!!!)

17. Having lost his donkey a Sardarji, got down to his
knees and started thanking God. A passerby saw him and
asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking
God for ?" The sardarji replied "I am thanking Him for
seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that
time, otherwise I would have been missing too."

18. So this sardarji is walking the other day and
comes across a banana peel on the road. Can you guess
what he might be thinking??
"Saala today again I will have to fall......"

19. One great day in Bombay, a couple were on a
honeymoon tour. They saw one sardarji in front of a
hospital (Breach Candy) was trying to fill some form.
So the couple enquired eagerly " Sardarji what are you
doing ?" Sardarji replied that I had a baby and I am
filling the birth certificate form. The couple as per
schedule, took the Bombay to Delhi for their next
destination. On the next day, they find the Sardarji
in Delhi filling the same form. So once again young
couple asked" Sardarji what are you doing ?" Once
again replied that I had a baby and I am filling the
birth certificate form. The couple said but sardarji
yesterday you were in Bombay filling the same form,
how come you're in Delhi? Sardarji coolly replied "The
form says FILL IN CAPITAL.'

20. Surjit Singh saw that his friend Baljit Singh was
very depressed. "What happened ?" asked Surjit. "Yaar,
I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . " "How come ?"
"Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and
England was being shown live on TV.I bet Rs.500 that
India would win, but I lost the bet." "But thats only
Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?" " Yaar, I bet on the
highlights too "

21. An Englishman, an American and a Sardarji are
called upon to test a lie detector. The Englishman
says: "I think I can empty 20 bottles of beer".
BUZZZZZZ, goes the lie detector. "Ok", he says, "10
bottles". And the machine is silent. The American
says: "I think I can eat 15 hamburgers". BUZZZZZZ,
goes the lie detector. "Allright, 8 hamburgers". And
the machine's silent. The Sardarji says: "I think...",
BUZZZZZZ goes the machine.

22. A sardarji with two red ears went to his doctor.
The doctor asked him what happened to his ears and he
answered, " I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang -
but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally
picked up the iron an stuck to my ear." "Oh Dear! "
the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. .. what
happened to the other ear?" "The man called back
again."

23. There's a funeral procession of a sardar going on
a busy street. All the sardars in the mayyat' are
dancing the bhangra and singing and general 'balle
balle' is on. The people on the street find it strange
that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if
its marriage baraat. So one of them asks Santa sing,
"Singh saab, how come you are celebrating?"..... comes
the reply :
Its the first time that a sardar has died of "brain"
tumour !!"

24. Do you know what a Surdarji will do after taking
Xerox ?
He will compare it with the original for spelling
mistakes !!

25. Do you know what surdarji will do if he wants a
white paper? (he already has one and he wants one
more..)

He takes a Xerox of the white paper !

Hello friends I think by now you would have been exhausted by laughing .Be cheerful as your now always ok.

Monday, June 28, 2004

MY DEFICIENT LIFE

Hey friends hitherto I was writing only wide-ranging things so this time I thought why not I write some thing about me? And here it is .This is all about my frolicsome living…

It wasn't what put down at the end of my road that appalled me as much as the nature of the road itself. Everything at its minus degrees. no mile stones marked in progress .no trees grew along it .no dapple shadows shaded it .no mists rolled over it .no birds circled it .Not even those little butterflies fluttered like the winged happiness, Not even those little short lived squabbles ,No concealed surprises , no twists ,no turns or hairpin bends obscured even momentarily ,My clear view of the end .This filled me with awful dread ,because I was not the kind of person who wanted my future told .I dread it too much .If I was granted one small wish perhaps it would only have been not to know. Not to know what each tomorrow held for me in store .Not to know where I might be ,next Hour ,next day. Ten days on. Not to know which way my road might turn. And what lay beyond the bend.

It didn't matter that it's all had began ,because I discovered that right now the secret of my Life is that they have no secretes. Now My life is like a barren land where you can enter any where and inhibit comfortably .They don't deceive u with thrills and trick endings .they don't surprise u with unforeseen .they are as familiar as the house u live in or the voice of your best friend on phone.Or the smell of your lover's skin .Now my life is very transparent like the Great classic romantic movies where you know who lives, who dies ,who finds love ,who doesn't and yet again u will be stuffed to know the same story again and again ,inch by inch ,pieces by pieces. I live each day as though a new day even though I know how the day will end ,In the way that although you know that one day you will die ,and live as though you won't.
That is the misery I face right now. working out to escape this temperament and to swap a new life with this rotten one. Hope it happens soon.