Citruz

HI FRIENDS,IAM CITRUZ(26) FROM CHENNAI-INDIA...HERE U CAN READ ALL MY "intelligent" SCRIBBLINGS.

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Location: Chennai, TamilNadu, India

I am a dreamer.I dissolve & lose myself in to my lucid dreams.I wanna get more obsessed with them and I am working upon it.

Monday, June 28, 2004

MY DEFICIENT LIFE

Hey friends hitherto I was writing only wide-ranging things so this time I thought why not I write some thing about me? And here it is .This is all about my frolicsome living…

It wasn't what put down at the end of my road that appalled me as much as the nature of the road itself. Everything at its minus degrees. no mile stones marked in progress .no trees grew along it .no dapple shadows shaded it .no mists rolled over it .no birds circled it .Not even those little butterflies fluttered like the winged happiness, Not even those little short lived squabbles ,No concealed surprises , no twists ,no turns or hairpin bends obscured even momentarily ,My clear view of the end .This filled me with awful dread ,because I was not the kind of person who wanted my future told .I dread it too much .If I was granted one small wish perhaps it would only have been not to know. Not to know what each tomorrow held for me in store .Not to know where I might be ,next Hour ,next day. Ten days on. Not to know which way my road might turn. And what lay beyond the bend.

It didn't matter that it's all had began ,because I discovered that right now the secret of my Life is that they have no secretes. Now My life is like a barren land where you can enter any where and inhibit comfortably .They don't deceive u with thrills and trick endings .they don't surprise u with unforeseen .they are as familiar as the house u live in or the voice of your best friend on phone.Or the smell of your lover's skin .Now my life is very transparent like the Great classic romantic movies where you know who lives, who dies ,who finds love ,who doesn't and yet again u will be stuffed to know the same story again and again ,inch by inch ,pieces by pieces. I live each day as though a new day even though I know how the day will end ,In the way that although you know that one day you will die ,and live as though you won't.
That is the misery I face right now. working out to escape this temperament and to swap a new life with this rotten one. Hope it happens soon.